Endless night Awful blight No one calm Nothings right Proud young doctors crying with fright Toiling broken they can’t see the light Pleading for the fighting to cease, While they save us from this awful disease.
I watched Long Strange Trip the six part documentary by Martin Scorsese about The. The Grateful Dead. The last part (6) is when I got into the Grateful Dead in the 1990’s. I didn’t know how miserable Jerry was. How trapped by his incredible fame and recognizability. He was stuck inside hotels he couldn’t do anything. He took up scuba diving because there he was able to just be. I love Jerry he really was like a God to me. I had no idea that was what ultimately killed him the responsibility of performing mixed with the drive to keep going. Giving us the experience became an albatross. As I learned about the last years I was stunned by how trapped he was. I feel so badly for having a hand in his demise. Scorcese did the 6 part documentary. He closed with my first introduction to the Dead and absolutely favorite song Ripple because Marty is a genius. I was back to the day Jerry died. Sobbing uncontrollably. It happened to be my father’s birthday Aug 9. I went to see him but was inconsolable. I really was grieving and could not stop sobbing. Took three days to stop crying. I can’t imagine crying like that for my father unfortunately. That’s the thing about Jerry. I went to 22 shows and had the greatest time of my life each time. My father has not given me that kind of unforgettable joy once. How could I not have held Jerry in such high esteem? He was a grandfather I never had and always wanted. His humanity was what made his music so incredibly deep and melancholy. He was a people pleaser prophet. I still miss those days. How differently I see things now.