“What can be worse than the total agony of being in love?”


In the spirit of the holiday season…

“What can be worse than the total agony of being in love?”As spoken by an eleven year old from a line in the film, Love Actually. If you pause for one second and think about it, isn’t love the absolute worst thing ever? I mean it is sheer torture yet it is vital and what we all live for ultimately. Some say it’s not Love but Sex that we do all the work for i.e. Sigmund Freud, but I don’t think he had that one quite figured out.

The absence of love can create the most distressing feelings inside. Sadness, loneliness, the shallow feeling of hating the couple walking hand in hand in front of you on the street. What a nightmare. Yet when in love that couple barely exists for the focus is not on them, but on your own hand in that of your loved ones. Total nonsense I think, turns us into absolute jerks doesn’t it?What is it about love that can have you raging in anger and reeling from joy in the matter of minutes? How is it that we, seemingly rational human beings allow ourselves such beastly behavior? I know its chemical and I know we can’t help it, but why do we put ourselves through it time and again?

Why do we let love in, and then let it ravage us so completely often leaving us in tatters and destroyed? Then as time passes we consciously (or not) do it all over again, risking the same awful result? As adults are we not to learn from our mistakes and not repeat them. When we touch the super hot radiator, don’t we actively avoid it so as not to burn again?

What makes love different? I want to know what you think. I am clearly at a loss because I am responsible for the horrid behavior I speak of. Please share your thoughts with me. Maybe together we can solve this Love thing once and for all? Highly unlikely but worth a shot, no?

End Quote

” Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.”

Albert Einstein

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Author: veronicaromm

Ask me anything you want to know.

17 thoughts on ““What can be worse than the total agony of being in love?””

  1. I think there is a reason that a red rose symbolizes love. Red for the blood that gets drawn when you pick the thorn instead of the soft aromatic petals—Been there—done that. And yes, I am enviously of those couples who have stuck together through thick and thin, but then again, I’d rather walk alone, out of love, than be trapped in a once loving relationship that has wilted and died.

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  3. @ everyone. Yes love is all of these things and more. The quote makes perfect sense when you think about it’s origin and the perspective of a precocious youth.

    Loved all the responses, thank you all.

  4. perhaps I’m masochistic, but that is an agony that I will gladly endure.

    without pain how can we truly understand and appreciate pleasure?

  5. i am just going to take the title and an excerpt of this to work upon at this moment …
    [ftp]
    Yet when in love that couple barely exists for the focus is not on them, but on your own hand in that of your loved ones. Total nonsense I think, turns us into absolute jerks doesn’t it?

    What is it about love that can have you raging in anger and reeling from joy in the matter of minutes? How is it that we, seemingly rational human beings allow ourselves such beastly behavior? I know its chemical and I know we can’t help it, but why do we put ourselves through it time and again? Why do we let love in, and then let it ravage us so completely often leaving us in tatters and destroyed?

    what is described in the above paragraphs is *in love* or as i prefer to term it *in heat* …. before anyone gets their dander up, let me explain
    ~love is commitment, stability, companionship, trust, and great sex~
    there is no *agony* in love, only in betrayal, lust and infatuation will you find *agony*.

    what the paragraphs describe with the raging and reeling, the tumultuous feelings that run the gamut of emotions, the *knowledge* that you will not survive another minute on this earth if that person is ever taken from you, never to have or hold them again, the inability to eat because of the butterflies in your stomach when you think about them, or being unable to sleep because you are thinking of what has been done and said and what will be done and said next time you are with them, and how you can’t sleep because they are not beside you in the bed … that is infatuation, plain and simple, you don’t see the real person, you live on adrenaline, and emotion, on the smell, the taste, the feel, of that person … where every word, every breathe is measured in eternity, but it never lasts long enough, those moments together …

    love knows that come what may, it will survive, that regardless of the dawning of tomorrow, it will remain just as strong and stable as it was the day it was given birth in trust …. that is love.

    not the wickedly delicious hormonally pumped ups and downs, i mean reaaahhlly – think about this – could the human body survive without eating or sleeping for very long if that were really what love was only about? … the female would die before giving birth, it takes 40 weeks ya know, no way the body could survive and deliver a healthy baby ….

    love is simple, can you trust that person to treat you as well as you treat them? not 100% of the time, there is always give and take in any relationship, but if you find that you’re giving more of yourself than you receive from your lover, you are nothing more than a friend with benefits.

  6. I totally agree with Ally!!
    She said it all, wotever I wanted to say!~
    U don’t feel that love with everybody,
    this is something special between the 2 people..
    very holy, very pure, it’s a bond of love that’s beyond logic and reason..

  7. What’s worse than the total agony of being in love? Not being in love.
    When given the affection in a relationship you may not notice it or even miss it then, but the moment it is taken away that’s all you want. The affection of another person, their touch, their love. You’d drown yourself in that if possible.
    As human beings, we’re all looking for that type of emotion with another person to share it with. It just has to be the right person. Through the pain caused within each relationship you invest in, it may all be worth it in the end to find what you’re truly looking for.

  8. Well – I must say a very intersting post indeed. I have been in love with the same person for 16 years and have not really felt any agony. So unfortunately I would be guessing the answer to this very question however I will post my opinion.

    Here goes: I would though agree with alot of the statements in the post as I am aware it is happening. I think a lot of it stems from a communication breakdown.
    A lot of people in relationships fail to communicate openly and honestly about what they like and what they expect from the other person so alot of times they are in agony becuse they do not feel they are achieving what love is suppose to give.

    Thanks
    zesty

  9. I’ve been married to the same woman for many years, so I am a self-professed expert, but I would say it would be the agony of not being in love.

    drtombibey.wordpress.com

  10. wow..I always remember that line from Love, Actually, and always nod my head YES! 🙂 I’m not sure why love doesn’t have that “negative reinforcement” trigger like the radiator…it’s like that shock fades away and we try, try again…I guess it’s just the only way to make the universe fair; I mean think about it, we as humans are allowed to experience love at its apex of euphoric bliss, moreso than any other species (that I know of)…how can you have this lightning in a bottle without also having it as your punishment? (i.e. the feeling of moving along without it)….the good with the bad I suppose… 🙂

  11. Veronica asks, “What can be worse than the total agony of being in love?”

    I would have to say that living with the consequences of a wrong choice is worse.

    Keep a list of the good points and irritating habits of the person you’re attracted to; award 1 point each for the good points and -5 points for the irritating habits. The irritating things don’t seem quite so unbearable when you only see the other person a few hours a week and you’re both on your best behavior. As you get to know the other person better, their irritating qualities will whine like a dentist’s drill.

    I know this isn’t what you were expecting, Veronica. But, hey, this is Halloween, not Valentines’ Day! 😎

  12. We all make the same mistake.
    We expect the other to give us what we want, so that we can feel that they love us.
    We don’t really consecrate on our feelings but we run after the others feelings for us.
    So we miss the good part of love.
    If I can feel love in my heart then “lucky me”. I got all the benefits of full field heart!
    It is not love that let us down, it is people!!!
    So smile my dear and keep your feelings for you, until the right person cames by 🙂

  13. Wonderful post! Right timing!

    As adults are we not to learn from our mistakes and not repeat them. When we touch the super hot radiator,
    don’t we actively avoid it so as not to burn again?

    I think it’s too late.

    What do we do with the ashes?

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